- “Eat” the damn Play-doh cookies.
- Slurp the invisible soup.
- Pretend that they’re not causing grievous bodily harm as they “brush” your hair.
- Always be serious when asked what you’d like for dinner, and never say something silly like rabbit soup. Because they will go get their stuffed one off the bed, put it in your best pot, and fill said pot with water. Then place it on your desk.
- Greet their make believe friends and ask how their day was.
- Always kiss the teddy bear goodnight. It has feelings too.
- Always pretend to die when they shoot you.
- If you are having a fake war with them and you shoot them and they say they can’t die because they are invincible, you don’t shoot them again, because they are invincible.
- Yes, their drawing does look like a butterfly, not a bunch of jumbled up lines.
- Them pounding on the piano is the best thing you have ever heard.
no but seriously it’s very important to a child’s development to not be shut down by parents and other caregivers
that play kitchen could turn out some very nice meals, too. the kids picked up on the fact that I sauted things in butter, so they’d always use the wooden block o’butter, and the little knife to separate the velcro’d together bits, to start their pretend cooking. so you’d get sauted salad and ice cream, and tea with avocado pits in. and motherfucker, you’d pretend that was delicious. mmm, thank you, could I have another helping? it’s just go yummy!
and when they’d climb up and try to sit on your head? you better not scream and drop them. nope. you grin and bear it and just move their hands when they grab your nostrils to hold themselves steady, cause it could be worse. they could be standing on your kidneys so count your blessings, or worse yet, you could never get to find out how much pain you can take while smiling and not screaming.
or even worse than getting hurt and hiding it? not having a three year old scream your name when you go to work, and fall asleep on you and drool on your neck when you got home. to never have a four year old lean back in your arms and declare with a huge grin “I love you!” to never have the ten year old walk into your arms because her pet hamster is dying and she’s heartbroken.
so yeah. that kid comes to you you better play along, even if you’ve forgotten how to play, even if you feel stupid and silly and your knees ache from kneeling on the floor to be on their level. you get on their level, and you play pretend, and you die when they shoot you and when they fall you catch them.